Sunday, April 12, 2015
Thursday, September 4, 2014
Too much happened to me.
I used to be the person who like anything until something happened to make me dislike it. Now, I hate first until it proves to not be hated.
Did life do this to me? Or am I just going to the wrong direction?
I lost two people I considered best friends - they are the two that I know of. Three actually. I lost another quite some time ago. I was mad and sad I cried till my eyes are swollen and puffy. But then I became angry. I hate them even. I hate them for making me cry. I hate them for confusing me, for breaking my heart. For making me feel so inadequate for their friendship. But there's a piece of me that says I am better without them. Yes. I am better without them.
Anyway, since I have time in hand, too much of it, I should write. But I don't instead I waste my time doing nothing. I only eat and sort of waste away in existence.
Joey was kinda trying to reconcile our friendship, but I don't feel like doing it. I just want to be left alone. I love him and I appreciate the effort but I just don't want people in my life. I don't know what's happening.
Friday, August 15, 2014
Okay now, it is not a violent day and I can't ever imagine myself in any circumstances (okay, maybe if the spirit of an evil dead man possessed me) do anything that Alex would do; except for listening to Beethoven.
It's a dull day. Looks like it is going to rain, and yes, I'm reading -rather trying to read- A Clockwork Orange. I feel like I should be doing something important but instead I'm typing this. Just so I could fill the emptiness I feel. Isn't it shitty?
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
I've got a meeting of some sort Friday. I have mixed feelings about it.
1. It's job related. It's an informal interview actually.
2. I kinda owe it to one of my bestie. I'm pretty sure she vouched for me. But she seemed a bit distant, I'm confused.
3. I'm afraid I'll blow it. I don't feel adequate.
At the same time, I am trying to just accept everything God has planned for me. Maybe it's the month, but I am feeling better. I think I'm giving up writing.
Okay, maybe a lot has changed. I have changed. I hope for the better.
Saturday, February 8, 2014
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Sunday, May 19, 2013
Semalam aku dapat tahu senior yang aku pernah ada crush kat dia dah putus beberapa bulan lalu dengan tunangnya. Aku ingat aku akan rasa seronok tapi tak.
Aku rasa sedih. Sebab aku tahu dia memang sayang gila dekat perempuan tu. Ada sekali perempuan tu curang, dia boleh tunggu perempuan tu balik kat dia.
Lepas tu diorang tunang. Aku pun berhenti la stalk si mamat ni. Lepas tu lagi aku jumpa mamat aku sendiri.
Memandangkan aku sendiri pernah buat apa yang perempuan tu buat dan bf aku boleh tunggu aku balik kat dia,aku jadi sangat sayang kat dia.
Semalam, aku terfikir.. Memang betul cakap orang2. Kalau bukan jodoh kau, kau sayang macam nak mampus pun, korang takkan bersama.
Aku sekarang rasa macam nak mampus.
Haha. Tak lah. Cuma rasa nak mampus sikit je.