Mati

Kata dia, hati akan bergetar.
Kata dia, jiwa akan longgar.
Kata dia, seluruh urat saraf, molekul berjisim di tubuhku akan kecut saat tersebutnya kata itu.

Kontang senyum dari bibir,
tekak dahaga
panas
takut

Kerana aku hidup masih berdebu dosa.

Rindu Bayang-bayang

Apakah yang sedang kau buat? Apakah kau sedang kosong seperti aku? Apakah kau sedang bingung seperti aku?

Aku tak pasti. Tapi aku harap, hatimu tenang. Dan moga roh kau mencari-cari di mana nafasku berhembus.

Kerana kita adalah pecahan jiwa Adam dan Hawa yang terpisah.

I belong to me

Although I don't want to lose you, doesn't mean I'm giving up myself.

We can go on like this. Yes. But I'll never give up my faith.

*maaf, ini contextual

Bicara tanpa kata

Hilang sudah semua percaya kau dulu.
Kosong tak terlihat, bagaikan juga bicara kau yang tak berkata-kata.
Apa yang dulu pernah ada kini sembunyi.
Kenapa hukuman itu jatuh atas kejujuran yang pahit.
Apa kau rela digulakan palsu?
Realiti aku yang berbeza pada kau dulu sebenarnya cuma pelangi
Yang mana kini pergi bersama cahaya matahari.
Aku salah kerana fikir walaupun tidak nyata tanganku menggenggam tanganmu dalam gelap malam,
-----

Nyata kau tak tahu aku yang selama ini memimpin kau di jalan itu.

Mimpi indah.

Kau, yang mengilhamkan nyanyian hati,
ke sini, sujud dan berdoa dengan aku.

Kita harus selamatkan bintang-bintang yang kelemasan.

Dan juga malam yang sudah makin tenggelam.

Sehingga bulan berubah warna.

Aku tunggu kau di sini untuk sama-sama menadah ke langit, mengharap ungu hujan kembali jernih.

Sesaat aku terasa kosong seakan aku rela jatuh tinggi tanpa takut mati.

Sesaat kemudian, aku terlihat kau yang terlewat.

Pelangi pun gerhana.

The straight lines are distorted at the end of the road.

It used to be so easy. Everything was simple. When you were small, you can practically parasites your parents. Yes, I'm using a noun as a verb. And they don't care. As you get older, issues rose. You can't bullshit this, you can't fuck that.

I'm sitting very still, just in case there is a glimpse of divinity is being revealed to me. It seems that everything however easy it seemed clots towards the end. What I'm trying to say is, my kid self won't waste a single minute sitting still just to be convinced that there's something behind everything. And everything was easier back then. Why did I wish my future to be complicated? (Yeah, I did because being a kid is boring.)

Innocence. That's the word. The essence of peace. We'll have our imaginary friend who wouldn't lay a finger to hurt us.

I'm not being coherent.

Let me number these then.

1. Being an adult is a pain, mostly.

2. Nothing is a piece of cake. Even a piece of cake.

Matahariku

Matahariku yang hitam gelap.

Yang cahayamu aku curi buat lampu di kala malam aku sendiri.

Langkah aku makin penat, cerita aku makan tenat.

Masa makin berlari ke depan sedang aku tercungap di belakang.

Kadang aku pandang dulu yang terang agar kaki gagah kembali.

Sukar meletak hati di meja judi.

Bila ke depan aku lihat semua malap.

Matahariku, aku pohon cahayamu kembali.

Scraps

Usah meminta pada bulan untuk memanjangkan malam.

Setiap tangis yang tercipta tak ada erti jika rasa kau layu seketika.

Mungkin bayang sang angin masih belum boleh memadam cahaya yang kau sangka abadi.

Tapi harus kau tahu, cahaya itu hanya berbohong.

Jangan cuba menyelam laut dalam.

Cahaya itu takkan memandu kau.

Nafas takkan sampai, kau hanya akan lemas sendirian...

Lost

I have two things to say. The first one is that i miss you. I hope you miss me too. I wonder if you're still thinking about what we talked about and the sweet boysenberry in the ice cream we had.

I wonder if you miss having me by your side. My smile, my laugh and my frown?

This whatever I feel has devoured me from the inside.

The second thing is, I miss you a lot.

Today I put your pictures in a box and seal them away.

But I realized I can't even forget how they make me feel.

The truth is, if I ever say I moved on, that simply means I fell in love for someone else. But to forget how you made me feel?

Never.

Sang real

It runs in my blood. Our blood.

The blood of liars. Cold and tastes like metal.

Liking things;

Just because you like them.

Pesanan Kepada Cinta yang Ditakdirkan Untuk Saya

Saya tidak tahu di mana awak berada. Apa yang awak fikirkan. Apa yang awak rasa. Siapa awak.

Tapi, sekarang, saya rasa kesepian semakin dekat dengan saya. Sudah semakin sebati. Saya takut terlalu asyik melayan sepi, bila kita bertemu saya gagal kenal awak. Hari semalam, saya jatuh hati dengan pelakon teater. Maka, saya takut juga, bila saya bertemu awak, awak ada orang lain di sisi, dan saya ada lelaki yang mendampingi. Kemudian, kita terus berlalu tanpa sempat memandang mata masing-masing.

Hari ini, saya habiskan sebuah buku. Saya langsung tidak bangun dari katil. Setelah itu, saya duduk diam dalam selimut. Sebab hujung kaki dah sejuk. Otak saya berkata, "I'll just warm these toes." (Ya, otak saya cakap orang putih.) Tapi lepas panas, saya tak bangun juga, sebab selesa.

Saya lapar, seharian tidak makan, tapi tak ada mood.

Saya habiskan buku itu, yang membuat saya takut, hayat saya tak panjang, dan tak sempat jumpa awak. Atau sempat jumpa sekejap sahaja. Saya tak mahu cuma jadi hantu yang menghantui awak tanpa boleh sentuh awak. Saya tak mahu jadi orang yang hanya muncul dalam mimpi awak tanpa kaki di tanah realiti.

Awak, faham tak apa yang saya cuba kata ni? Boleh tak muncul di depan saya cepat sikit? Sila beri saya signal, sebab saya sedikit daft pasal benda-benda ini. Oh, lagi satu, jangan cemburu, saya memang ramai kawan lelaki.

Bulan puasa nanti saya masak sedap-sedap untuk awak ok?

Tentang Ali

Di sebuah kampung bernama Kampung Sungai Cetek Kurang Pasir, ada seorang pemuda bernama Ali. Ali merupakan anak tunggal ibunya.
Suatu hari, ibu Ali menyuruh Ali ke pekan untuk membeli sekuntum bunga. Kata ibu Ali, "Beli lah bunga mana yang kau suka." Walaupun dia berasa kurang macho untuk membeli bunga, Ali tetap ke kedai kerana dia ialah seorang anak yang patuh.
Sebelum sampainya Ali di pekan, Ali membuat keputusan untuk membeli bunga orkid. "Bunga orkid lebih unik!" katanya, konon pandai.
Sampainya di kedai bunga, Ali terpesona melihat pelbagai jenis bunga yang harum dan berwarna-warni.
Ada lily!
Ada rose!
Ada carnation!
Ada peony!
Oh! Oh!
Ali mula rambang mata melihat semua bunga yang boleh dibeli.
Ali tidak tahu mahu bunga mana.
Ali..
Akhirnya pulang dengan tangan kosong apabila semua bunga habis dibeli, dan dia tidak dapat membuat keputusan.

The End.

Ubat

Terima kasih untuk ubatnya. Tapi, saya dah tak perlukannya lagi.

I got over you since I know you won't fight for me.

Delete no telefon

Sebab tak mahu telefon atau SMS awak lagi. Sampai lah awak yang telefon saya dulu. Selepas delete, baru saya terfikir, macam mana kalau awak pun buat macam ni?

Shit.

Akhir.

Darl, am sorry I hv bn a selfish bitch these days. Thanks 4 bearing me. Love u much. btw, I tossed the last few ciggies into the thrash bin. I promise I won't smoke anymore. Nyte.

I dnt think ure selfish. at least not with me :-). Its the right decision to toss em away, im so happy :-D. go 2 bed nw, ily :-D

And that's the end of me and the red box and white lighter I've been buying.

Smoking doesn't make you feel better.

Or me. Especially me.

Maybe it is 30 after 2 in the morning. I have been feeling quite shitty while smoking. It really doesn't make me feel better. No. But I had two anyway.

Seriously, it is crappy. All those chemicals don't make me happy. Not at all.

And I was reminded of my first ever. I was, what? 14 or 15? It was out of curiosity. I didn't cough like every first timer we see on TV. It didn't revolt me either. It is as if the cig was made for me. Hey, I'm a natural. Like that 2 year old Indonesian baby? Yeah, just that my parents were two responsible peeps back then. Else I won't be here, crapping. I'd be pushing up daisies.

I looked into the mirror in the washroom. I saw a quite pretty young lady. Okay, I may not have high cheek bones, no flawless radiant fair skin. But I am pretty. hey, I am.

There are 5 remnants in the almost crumpled red box. I promised. They are my last, after failing to just flush all of them in the toilet. Or just toss them into the thrash bin. I don't know if it's a promise I could keep.

And just suddenly, I felt my stomach revolt.

Am a Mess

I felt empty. I did everything I could think of. I cleaned. I ate. I washed my face. I tried reading. And finally, dragged my first fag in two days.
Paranoia crept under every inch of my skin as I smoke in the students' washroom.

Flushed the stub down. I smelled my hair, in case the pungent smell would wake my room mates up. I double checked that I have locked the door. An as I lay on the bed, trying to sleep, since it's two in the morning - wait, that makes it 3 days smoking free-  I heard a line from some drama on TV.

"Solat Karina. Solat itu pengubat jiwa." or something similar.

Ah.. Guidance belongs to Allah, He gives it to whom he pleases. And it may come to you from whatever form. Even the one you never expect. And I closed my eyes to sleep.

Syaitan.

Waiting for Magic or Punishment

Almost one in the afternoon. People passing by in twos or groups. Most of them are smiling, eyes lit up although a little squinted in the heat. It is inevitable to realize that I'm alone and fucked up messy.

Smoking here where at any moment I could expect someone dear to show up and catch me red handed. My egos are shouting at each other in my head under the burning sun. I almost wish I could cry but no tears came.

Inhaling the poisonous smoke, I could hear mom's voice suddenly standing in front of me. She almost shout, but her voice is cracking at the same time. She asked, for the zillionth time "Why?"

And as the smoke finally finds light, I realized, nobody will come for me. Not to punish me, nor to save me.

Yang Sebenarnya

Aku beritahu kau;

Aku jahat; aku hisap rokok, aku rosak, aku hancur.

Aku bukan bagitahu keburukan aku, aku sedang bertanya, kau boleh terima aku seadanya?

Nikotin namanya.

Tangannya menggenggam erat kotak merah kecil. Dia mengheret tubuh lesunya yang dibaluti sehelai tuala ke bilik mandi.
Tuala beralih ke rel besi di dinding. Tanpa memandang ke cermin di hadapannya, dia membuka kotak merah tadi. Enam. Masih ada enam lagi selain isi yang ditangannya. Dia melabuhkan punggung di atas tandas duduk.
Yang dilihat mata hanya satu tubuh yang terbakar, hakikatnya ada dua jasad yang sedang mati perlahan dalam definisi sendiri tanpa mengikut hukum relatif. Dia menyedut segala rasa yang ada dalam-dalam. Kepalanya mula melayang ke daerah nikotin. Ringan.
Dia membiarkan dirinya lepas begitu. Mata yang pejam terbuka memandang dua jari yang mengepit sebatang tubuh yang fiziknya terbakar, sedangkan sebenarnya ia sedang membakar tubuhnya yang lesu. Dia memeluk dirinya sendiri.
Dia rasa kosong. Apakah erti kewujudan dirinya seperti sebatang puntung nikotin itu juga? Selepas habis, dibuang terus, langsung tak diingati? Dihisap habis rasanya dan tinggal kosong?
Lama pula hayat puntung jahanam ini, fikirnya. Dia mengeluh, mulutnya serasa kelat tembakau, jemarinya dilonglai sengaja, terlepas jatuh ke bawah.
Mungkin beginilah cara dia meninggalkan aku, membuang aku terus dari hidupnya, dia bermonolog sendiri.
Lantas dihalakan air membasahi rongga oral dan serata ubun dan tubuhnya agar tidak lagi kebakar.

When I fall I became hopeless, pathetic, gullible, emotional, sensitive and irrational that you could not simply believe that behind all those there is one decent person who actually have both a brain and a heart because everything I do will be inexplicable as the mysteries of the universe are.

In other words, I'm an idiot.

Loving You

It is a lie
when I woke up in my hectic mornings with my head filled with your words
when I dream of you in my sleepless nights
when I said I would miss you when we are apart

The truth is, I want you to be the one who go through this.

Bayangkan

Cuba menadah air dalam tapak tangan.
Begitu.
Aku cuba untuk tidak fikirkan kamu.

Aku cari bayang kamu di mana sahaja.
Aku lihat kamu pada siapa sahaja.

Cuba sembunyi di padang pasir kontang.
Begitu.
Melainkan aku kambus diriku hilang ke dalam debu waktu.

Melainkan perasaan ini jelas melemaskan.
Melainkan nyata aku tak berdaya.

Tidak mampu. Seluruh urat saraf dipenuhi rindu kamu.

Dissimulative

If I wasn't left crying alone all these years, I would have known what to say to you now.

Since I was small, the one lesson that I've learn again and again is that when you cry, you cry alone. And it's true in all occasion.

Yes. You were never there when I needed you. You weren't there when I broke up with my first boyfriend. You weren't there when I had a fight with my best friend. You weren't there when I didn't get selected to be the head prefect. You weren't even there when I started to become a woman.

You were a void.

And I hated you with every fiber that made up my being. Including those half that came from you. And I still hate you because I'm becoming more like you.

"It's not about me. You have to do it for yourself." my eyes felt hot, giving me away. My voice trembled betrayingly. The tears that I had been holding back finally broke. I was not sure if my voice was comprehensible. I looked away.

I don't know why it hurt so much to see your tears. After hating you for almost a lifetime, I shouldn't be here crying with you who had forsaken me.

The memory of a younger me came to mind as if it was yesterday. I was always sick. I was always very sick. It was late at night. I vomited on my bed. And in a flash, I saw an angry you. I saw my child self cleaning up after myself. I shook my head try to shake the bitter feeling that came with that particular memory.

But then another memory came. The memory of being beaten for some silly mistakes.  A gauge clicked inside me. This is what we call grudge. And it makes you ugly inside out.

"You can't live your life hating him forever. You have to move on. Stop thinking about what he did to you, stop thinking about what had happened in the past." I tried to look at her. She was biting her lips. Tears still falling down her powdered cheek. And even if I didn't see those tears, I'd know what I said is true.

"No, I never thought about him. I hated him." she said. And it sounded like a lie. In fact, it was the biggest lie ever told. I know what he did to you. I now understand what it felt. I was raised under the circumstances so that I could understand, but there was nothing that I could say to change anything.

"That's a lie." I said blatantly. "And you know it is. You think about him every day. Every time you lie on your bed you think about how he did you wrong. I know you felt like your life was wasted on him. But you can't go on like this. Live for yourself. Don't let him do this to you." I stopped before I could say - You hate him, remember? But I nodded to myself.

That's what I told myself everyday so that I won't be like you and him.

I wiped the remnants of tears on my cheeks and in my eyes. I looked at Emma. Young and fragile, listening trying to understand what the hell I'm talking about.

I stood up, straighten my face and went to the kitchen to fix lunch.

Paranoia Bertulis

Hey.

I said. And we were... friends?

I told you things about me. I told you secrets I dare not tell anyone else. I said the darnest things.

Hey.

You said. And we were... friends?

You told me things about you. You told me secrets you dare not tell anyone else. You said the darnest things.

That's it. We are... friends.
And my paranoid self keep on telling me, you don't like me as much as I like you.

Percaya dan orang asing adalah oxymoron.

"Aku percaya kamu; orang asing." bagaikan satu penipuan yang ditulis di atas kertas, ditampal di muka.

Kamu tidak percaya. Aku juga kurang pasti.

Tak mengerti.

Aku percaya kamu; orang asing.

Mungkin kerana di hati aku, kamu bukan orang asing.

Aku tak tahu apa warna kegemaran kamu (pink?), apa hobi kamu (kumpul setem?), apa cita-cita dan harapan kamu, apa yang kamu mahu, tapi aku tahu..

Kamu boleh faham jika kamu mahu.

Kerana hati kau pernah berlegar di ruang yang serupa. Hampir sama dengan gelap yang aku harung.

Yang Tabah

Salahkah dia? Atau salah air matanya? Dia cuba faham, kenapa saat ini dia bersendirian. Di mana teman?

Keluarga atau kawan?

Kenapa yang sedang dipeluknya adalah bantal, bukan orang yang boleh memeluknya kembali?

Kenapa jari yang mengutip taburan air mata adalah miliknya sendiri, bukan empunya yang mengasihi?

Di mana?

Dia cuba menguis rasa yang membeban jiwa, terasa penat berbalah hebat dengan perasaan. Persoalan kasar mengguris hati bertubi datang mengundang rawan. Air mata hadir lagi.

Imaginasi membayangkan dia keluar, lari dari kenyataan. Membayangkan yang ada jalan keluar dari situ. Jalan keluar dari perasaan yang ingin saja dia sebut celaka.

-Hati sudah luluh. Yang teguh sudah rapuh.

Tapi yang nyata, ruang jadi makin sesak dengan bunyi esak sendiri.

Dia bertanya lagi, kenapa tiada yang peduli?

"Selalu, orang yang sentiasa teguh, tabah dan kuat tidak punya sesiapa di sisi ketika dia jatuh. Dan ini satu tragedi. Dia dilihat tabah selalu, semua fikir dia boleh menanggung semua. Dan dia menanggung semua sendiri. Tidak adil. Dia juga manusia."

Rumah Batu

Rumah batu.
hati pun batu?
Kalau kau sedih, jangan harap ada yang bertanya
Kalau kau perih, jangan harap ada yang menyapa
Kalau kau pedih, jangan harap ada yang bersama
Kalau kau nangis, jangan harap.

Jangan harap. Nangis lah seorang diri.
Jangan harap. Nangis lah seorang diri.

Jangan harap.

Hati kau pun jadi batu dan kayu.

Jatuh

Jatuh
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Jatuh dalam gelap. kelam.
Jatuh dan cuba pegang.
.
.
.
.
.
Sesuatu yang kau cuba percaya
.
.
.
Mereka yang kau cuba percaya
.
.
.
.
.
.
Malang.
.
.
.
.
Percaya adalah sebuah penipuan yang gelap.
Dan kau terus jatuh.
Sendiri.
Kau tahu perasaan putus asa?
.
.
.
Dan terus jatuh lagi.
Kau mula pejam mata dan rela.

Self serving good deeds

She said, "Good deeds are actually self serving. That's how human are capable of doing good. Because they want to leave good impression. They want others to think they are good."

I know this to be true before she said it. I do things for others because it made me feel good. Because I did things I regret, in a way I try to amend. It is self-serving. It's good for my soul. But not because what others think of me. I couldn't care less really.

Listening to: How to Save a Life - The Fray

Tinggal separuh

Hilang separuh. Hilang...

Pejam tanpa celik.

Gelap tanpa cahaya.

Sesat tanpa arah.

Dan yang tinggal adalah bahagian yang tidak berguna tanpa yang lagi sebelah.

Seperti aku tanpa...

Dendam

Wa benci ah sama lu.
Dulu kita lepak-lepak, borak-borak, gelak-gelak.
Sekarang, wa carik lu, batang hidung pun tak nampak.
Wa benci ah sama lu.
Dulu calling-calling, caring-caring, kamcing-kamcing.
Sekarang, wa carik lu, tak jumpa walau pusing keliling.
Wa benci ah sama lu.
Wa benci.
Wa rindu lu, tapi langsung tak ketemu.
Takpe.
Nanti wa buat lu rindu wa.
Lepas tu wa nak menyorok, hilang.
Tak mau bagi lu jumpa.
Padan muka lu.

I am

Drifting along with the wind.

(Sometimes calm, sometimes stormy.

i am with the wind.

small and insignificant.

with random temperament.

Never faithful.

Maverick is the name of my soul.

i am falling. falling into a hollow in my chest.

hopeless.

Never faithful to You.

And still, I'm saved.

by you.

small. insignificant.)

But still loved.

by you.

Hari ini

Happy Birthday J...

this heart. (not made of a single strand of string)

Because there are lots in it.
     The blue sky. faithful and unforgotten.
     The red phoenix. majestic and epic.
     The yellow canary. sweet and free.
     The black wind. passed and staying.
     The white everythings.
     And the colorless nothings.

Because there are more than just lovey dovey love. (And they are self explanatory)
     The love for arts.
     The love for adventure.
     The love for man. Mankind I mean.
     Etc.

Because (as humans do) there are hatred. (Also self explanatory)
    The hatred for Mondays.
    The hatred for traffic congestion.
    The hatred for stuck ups.
    Etc.

Because there is you.

Dialog hari ini.

L: Eyh, korang nak lunch dengan P tak hari ni?
J: Tak kot, kenapa?
L: Hm, aku ingat nak menyibuk jap, nak mintak tolong sket *sengih*
J: Eh, P mana ada layan perempuan.
L: *gelak* I'm thinking about professional help here J.


Sebenarnya, kalaupun betul P tak layan perempuan. P pernah cakap "Kau? Kau bukan perempuan." Maka, apa yang boleh kita simpulkan di sini?

post script buat P, kalau aku bukan perempuan, aku adalah gay.

Neo-romantic

It is to fall in love with a rebel.
-because I might fall in love with you, but you don't necessarily love me back.
It is neo-romantic to fall in love with you.

Titik yang tak pernah letih

Jalan aku lalu, kali itu bersama orang lain
Jalan yang sama aku jalani denganmu

Dulu aku jalan nyanyi-nyanyi
Kini walau berdua aku sepi

Neon seorang pokok dua orang
Jalan konkrit, jalan tar
Ada aku, ada kereta
Dan orang asing yang aku tak tahu siapa

jalan kali ini tak seindah bersama kamu
senyum datang jarang
gelak tak galak.

Apa kali ini titik datang tanpa letih
Menimpa aku yang baru nak bertatih?

*Dan kau, tak datang lagi untuk selamatkan aku.
Dan kau, di dunia ini; di mana aku tak tahu.

Tapi

Di earplug, ada suara Justin Timberlake.

Tapi hati aku memuja piring hitam.

Ada chips kentang di meja.

Tapi selera aku mahukan kerepek pisang.

Dia mengetuk hati aku.

Tapi aku hanya mahu kamu.

Hati yang sering berkata tapi.

Tapi yang melingkar hati dan tak pergi.

Note to the other me

I miss you and your thoughts.

I miss being you.

And most importantly, I miss being free.

Sometimes, we just went lost.

The Visit

Hello there. How are you? Good? Glad to know. So, what brings you here?


Yes, why don't you sit while I get you a cup of tea.

Let me find my limbs first.

Yes.

-Broken.

-i'm broken.

-Of course you know i am.

Oh, here they are!

I'll get you the tea now.

So, how do you like it?

Oh! Too sweet? I'm sorry, it was tasteless the last time, so I thought more sugar would do it.

-Lost my tastebuds as well

I'll get you another one. Oh, no. It's not a trouble at all.

You're sure? Oh, okay then.

So, you're here to see me? Why is that?

Oh. About that. Well, I don't do that anymore.

-You see how broken i am.

Find someone else. This is not my department anymore.

All those that I've been through, has done me alot damage.

Please have mercy.

-Would you wait for a while, i'll make you another tea, with less sugar.

No? Sure? It's not a problem at all.

-Just a little while.

Oh, ok. Take care then.

-i hate to see people go.

Be careful not to step on anything.

-ouch! That's my heart you just stomped on.

Oh, don't worry, this thing breaks all the time, I'll get it mend in a while. Thank you for visiting.

Yes, you too.

-Bye.

Soliloquay

Ruang kosong yang tak boleh dipenuhi,

kau lihat botol di tepi jalan yang berlubang di dasarnya?

Begitulah ruang di kiri kau juga, diisi tetap tidak penuh.

Bukan. Bukan botol di tepi jalan, kerana kau kata hati kau tak berlubanglubang.

Beritahu aku, apa susahnya memenuhkan jiwa kau?

Mungkin kerana kau berjiwa besar.

Ruang tidak kosong tapi masih belum dipenuhi.

Kuasa, harta, cinta(?)

Mahu lebih kuasa, mahu lebih harta, mahu lebih cinta

(Eh, kata orang cinta itu suci, maka apa yang dibuatnya di puisi yang begini?)

Lempar perabot import, lempar banglo besar, lempar butang bom nuklear, lempar lagi lelaki dan perempuan.

Masih belum penuh.

Tak penuh-penuh.

Tak puas.

Tak cukup.

Aku masih mahu lagi banyak.

Manusia, jiwa kau lohong walau tak kosong

Bukankah aku pernah kata, mahu gembira harus tahu rasa puas?

Berpaling dan pandang aku

Masa-masa telah berlalu. Musim itu juga sudah usang.
Kita sama-sama telah berpaling pergi dari situ, walaupun aku masih di belakang kau. 
Aku
Percaya aku juga sudah melepaskan cerita itu.
Semalam telah datang bertanya khabarku.
Melihat-lihat keadaan sekarang.
Sama sahaja, aku masih di belakang kau.
Di mata Semalam, aku lihat kau mencebik.
Aku halau Semalam, aku marah.

Apa kau fikir aku akan terus di belakang?

Sesekali, kau patut berpaling.

Aku tidak jauh di belakang.

0243, selepas secawan kopi putih Ipoh

Agak pelik bila mendengar suara yang dahulunya menyanyi hanya untuk aku di anjung rumah kini di radio. 

Aku terlihat semula pertemuan dulu. Dan tersenyum.

Aku menyesal kita tidak lagi wujud?

Aku rindu juga suara lunak yang bisa buat aku lena.

Aku rindu juga masa yang banyak kau pernah ada untuk aku.

     Tapi suara kau sudah berubah arahnya.

     Tapi rindu kau hilang dalam angin sahaja.

     Dan aku tidak pakai jiwa pun menulis tentang kau.

Kau tahu, bila kita board kapal terbang atau keretapi, kita mungkin akan berbual dengan orang sebelah?

Aku rasa, kau dah jadi orang yang duduk sebelah seat aku dalam kapal terbang ke Malaysia.

Atau aku kah orang yang duduk sebelah kau dalam perjalanan kau ke stardom?